Coffee Cups and Caffeine Drops
by Water-Soter
Summary: Agents come and go, but some things never change. Tony-centered. Gen
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Coffee Cups and Caffeine Drops

**Author: **Water-Soter

**Written For: **infiniteviking

**Prompt: **Five people who can't stand Gibbs's industrial-strength coffee (and one who can, but only because it's from him). Bonus points for including Fornell somewhere.

**Archive: **Absolutely, take, take!! Just please do contact me if you are so I'll know where you're posting it so I can add it to my author's notes.

**Pairings/Main Characters: **Tony and ensemble.

**Genre: **Mostly Humor but with plenty of Angst. It seems I can't do one without the other.

**Series: **Five Parts

**Feedback: **Absolutely! I'm new at this, so please don't burn me at the stake. Comments, suggestions and constructive criticism are always welcomed. Be honest, I'm hard to offend.

**Rating/Warning: **PG-13, canon character death

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the NCIS characters. I just love to torture them.

**Word Count: **7,376

**Summary:** Agents come and go, but some things never change. Tony-centered.

**Author's Notes:** This story was written for the NCIS Ficathon. It takes place during several timelines, from preseason including Jag intro to current episodes so there will be spoilers. This is probably not what you had in mind, infiniteviking but I hope you like it anyway. Thanks to Scifi-Lemon and for the beta and inspiring me to do better and to Cassie for looking over my fic and inspiring me to keep going, and Annie for looking at my story at the last minute, you guys are awesome. English is not my first language, so if you spot any mistakes, please point them out so I can fix them. Hope you guys enjoy!

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

Tony stared at the drink like a rabbit would a rattle snake. He had learned never to take anything from strangers, or ex-girlfriends, or anyone that looked at him funny. So when Abby, who never hid her extreme abhorrence for him, placed a Styrofoam cup the size of a small continent on his desk Tony considered making a run for it.

"What is it?" He glanced around the cubicle, but Viv was off doing something and Dobes was out in the field doing grunt work. Gibbs was with the director and Ducky was in autopsy. All of them too far to be any help in case Tony needed saving. And he _would_ need saving if the glint in Abby's eyes was anything to go by.

"It's coffee." She said, her devilish grin practically tickling her ears.

Tony leaned back on his chair in a futile attempt to put some distance between him and the _coffee_ he knew was laden with strychnine. It didn't seem to bother Abby as she bounced in place, a feat in those high heels, and leaned into his personal space despite the desk, computer and knickknacks. Her face was inches from his. The warmth breath sending shivers down his spine despite Tony's best efforts.

"Gibbs's special brew." She pulled back so abruptly Tony, along with his chair, nearly stumbled backwards onto the carpeted floor. Instead, Tony's hands slam on his desk to keep his body from following.

All this and Abby smiled and crossed her arms over her very ample chest. Tony's eyes strayed there before remembering the dangerous drink and the forensic specialist that could kill a man and not leave any evidence. "Gibbs is with the director."

Amused green eyes narrowed. "It's not for Gibbs."

Now he felt like a mouse with a looming cat. It had become such a common feeling when dealing with Abby. Much like walking on eggshells in a minefield was with Gibbs, or being spun around then jerked to a halt was with Ducky. The only normal ones were Viv and Dobes. Though Dobes, Tony had a feeling, was on his way out and Viv had a habit of stepping on Gibbs's toes.

All his years in law enforcement hadn't prepared him for working at NCIS. At the time, Tony had long worn out his welcome with the Baltimore PD and he'd been looking for his next B-something city. The job offer had come at the perfect moment and going from Baltimore detective to federal agent was a huge leap. Any sane person and their mother would have jumped at the opportunity.

The place hadn't been anything like Tony was used to. It was fancy, something closer to the life he'd left behind when he'd joined the academy. Things worked. He had his own computer and desk instead of having to share with any number of people. The restrooms didn't smell like something had crawled down the toilets and nested. There was carpeting on the floors instead of the thin and broken tiles of various stations. And he could now afford to have a two bedroom apartment instead of a hole in the wall.

It had perks and Tony loved perks. But the downsides occasionally balanced out the fringe benefits. Such as a bastard for a boss and a Goth who slept in coffins and wanted to stuff Tony in one.

"I don't really drink coffee, Abby." Now he went for polite instead of flirtatious as he had their first disastrous meeting. The first hadn't done him any favors with Abby and the latter worked only so far as to keep her from biting his head off.

"It's not for Gibbs, Tony," Abby grabbed the cup and thrust it forward, missing his face by inches. "I just thought that we hadn't given you the proper welcome, so I got you some of Gibbs's special coffee." Tony didn't become a good investigator by not following his instincts, and right at that moment they were screaming for all they were worth. And Tony wasn't stupid, no matter how many people thought the contrary. Abby turning a new leaf, overnight, and in regards to someone she had despised from the first meeting was as likely as Gibbs breaking out in a fine rendition of Gene Kelly's singing in the rain. Still, Tony hesitated, feeling trapped between a rock and a hard place.

If he didn't take, drink it, whatever sliver of an olive branch she was offering would go down the drain faster than the titanic. If he did, Tony would either end up with the runs for a week at best, or the hospital at worst. Well, he hoped that it would be the hospital, but he didn't know Abby well enough.

"Listen, I didn't put anything in it. I swear, it's just Gibbs's regular coffee." There was stark honestly in those green eyes and Tony couldn't find the lie in that statement. Though he had no doubt she was up to something, it didn't feel like the risk it had been moments ago.

"Okay, er, thanks." He hesitated on the smile, kept it genuine and not the half dirty half flirtatious he was tempted to do.

Cautiously, carefully he took the cup, brining the bitter broth to his lips for a drink. All the while he kept a firm eye on Abby's expression, but it stayed the same with that unholy glee sprouting out of every pore.

He took a sip, and nearly chocked. The sheer bitterness of the coffee exploded in his mouth. His tongue burned from the taste and he nearly chocked. His eyes filled with unwilling tears and his throat felt like sandpaper. Blindly he reached for his pack and pulled out a water bottle he kept there. It was pure heaven even if the water was temperate.

When he stopped chocking and looked up, Abby was nodding to herself as though confirming some theory. It hadn't been the expression Tony expected. He thought self-congratulatory, or smug – even though there was some of that – mostly it was a hearty disappointment that Tony couldn't decided if it bore well for him or not.

"Gibbs can drink the whole thing." Abby added in equal parts mocking and challenging.

Internally, Tony grimaced. Of course someone like Gibbs could drink that arsenic disguised as coffee. Gibbs could drink antifreeze with a side of rat poison and not even bat an eyelash. The man was barely human. The only thing keeping from Tony suspecting a pod person or android was the rare smirk that softened his stoic features.

"Of course, you're not Gibbs." The jab stung like the burn of a bullet striking his gut. It was stupid he knew, letting her get to him like that. But there was something about her little smirk that rubbed him the wrong way. So throwing caution to the wind – not to mention taking his life in his hands – he grabbed the cup and downed it like it was water.

Of course, the moment the dark broth reached his throat, he choked. His struggled against his gag reflexes and his churning stomach. He focused his mind and just breathed through it. He'd had worse, although not really because as bad at Jacks, or Vodka, or Tequila had been, none them felt as though he was being burned from the inside out. _God, how did Gibbs drink this stuff! _

The sensation faded after a few minutes of gulping air. And Tony felt secure enough; he lifted his head and gave her his most infamous shit-eating grin. Because he not only survived the Gibbs's broth from hell, he'd managed to gain some footing with Abby.

The elation only lasted a moment, and Abby must have known it would because when Tony's limbs started doing a fine imitation of a jacked-up speedster, she merely padded him on the head, and said cheerfully. "Only Gibbs with his intestines of steel can drink that."

Tony didn't hear much after that over the roaring in his ears. His body went numb and dark spots dancing up and down his vision. He couldn't get air fast enough and his heart was doing a fine imitation of a drum on crack.

Everything went white then black and then there were pretty colors sparkling around the room. And when things weren't dancing the Macarena around him, they were taking funny shapes and talking to him. Some distant part of his brain tried informing him that inanimate objects couldn't really talk, or move without help. At the moment, he was too fascinated to care.

_I like puffy candy!_ One squishy thing stated and Tony agreed wholeheartedly.

"Puffy candy is the best." He muttered. There was a loud noise and Ducky's face swam into view.

"Ah, there you are Anthony." There was something heavy on his arm but he couldn't raise his head enough to look at it. And that was interesting, because last thing he remembered he was sitting at his desk. His mind started to clear, and the room stopped shifting and the furniture wasn't shifting around as much. It was enough for him to note that not only was he lying down, but he was prone on one of autopsy's slabs.

"Am I dead?" His voice was raspy and throat dry. Speaking even a few words hurt a lot.

Ducky chuckled, and the gentle pat on his shoulder hurt his oversensitive skin. "Not at all, though I fear you may be wishing you were in a few hours."

Tony was _already_ wishing he was. His head was a bundle of jackhammers and ice picks. His body felt like an electrical current was running through it. Even his worse hangover paled in comparison.

"Abigail has been quite concerned with your well being."

The snort came out before he remembered his headache and felt it explode throughout his brain. "She's the one that tried killing me." Instead of the accusing tone he wanted, his voice came out sounded young and frail at the edges.

"Well, for a trained forensic specialist, she must not have done a good job." Tony groaned when Ducky slowly lifted him up and stuck a straw in his mouth.

"She gave me Gibbs's _special_ coffee." He muttered between the wonderful sips of cool water. Tony wasn't sure if he was in heaven or hell.

"Ah," The doctor chuckled lightly then carefully set him down back on the slab. He was going to have nightmares about this while situation, he just knew it.

"Then if I may be so bold." Ducky waited until he had Tony's undivided attention. "May I recommend you avoid trying to imitate Marines, Anthony, not only do they appear to have intestines of steel, but I am told they also possess a set of 'brass ones'." He added with a twinkle.

That he didn't doubt for a second. Tony already learned his lesson, but he suppose it never hurt to have it reinforced. His estimation of Gibbs's humanity had taken a plunge. The man was not only a bastard, but an indestructible bastard at that. "I'll make sure to remember that." Not like this experience was leaving him any time soon. But Gibbs aside, Abby was clearly psychotic. Sexy, but psychotic, hot as hell, but psychotic. And even if Tony occasionally liked to live dangerously – and with those short, plaid skirts and those leather boots Tony was temped – but there had to be a line drawn somewhere. So Tony was drawing his line in the sand. Stay away from Abby, keep insides on the insides. His new mission from now on.

That lasted until the moment said Goth bounced into autopsy all apologetic and gave him a very steamy flirtatious look. "Hey, Tony! I'm glad you're feeling okay. Caf Pow?"

Tony eyed the massive drink – he didn't know they made cups that big – and the sexy lips. Well, he never did like lines anyway. And it wasn't like Abby would try anything in front of witnesses.

Ducky shook his head sadly from where he'd scuttled off to, "Anthony, will you never learn."

As far as he was concerned, it was work the three days of throwing up and the shakes when he returned to work, his favorite tea on his desk and Abby giving him a look that would make the devil blush.


	2. Chapter 2

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

Kate Todd was a true feminist except when she wasn't. She was tough, engaging and never backed down from Gibbs. She reminded Tony too much of Viv in all the wrong ways, but he liked her and not just because she had some interesting curves.

The first few times she went toe to toe with Gibbs, Tony saw it for the same train wreck it had been with Viv, but unlike her, Kate didn't try to plow her way through the unmovable force that was Gibbs. She voiced her opinions, strongly, but followed orders like the trained agent she was.

She also didn't have a chip the size of Texas and an axe to grind that made her act impetuous at the worst possible times.

Kate argued with Tony and could more than hold her own against him. They bantered; they pushed and pulled each other's buttons in a bizarre platonic way despite the sexual tension he knew she felt. The relationship was very different from most he'd ever had with the opposite sex. He didn't feel the need to protect and cradle Kate like he had with Viv. Kate was tough but without losing her femininity and she fit into their tight little troupe like no one before her.

Still, Tony had lost too many teammates to Gibbs's wrath or indifference – or both – to let her in. Abby, on the other hand welcomed Kate into their fold like a long, lost sister. It didn't help that it had taken Tony _months_ and a near death experience to get past the chilly exterior Abby erected whenever Tony was around. And Kate, on her first _day _had won Abby over without even trying.

It was probably that last bit that – three months later – prompted Tony into giving Agent Todd the welcome she deserved. The case they had been working for three weeks was finally closed. A Second Lieutenant had been smuggling illegals using the navy as his personal transports. And if that wasn't bad enough, the women being brought in were then being sold into a sex ring operating right out of DC. It had been a big case, with it going up the ladder all the way to senators and company executives that would ride out the scandal but never see the inside of a cell.

The only positive of this whole mess was that the trials and legal proceedings would take years, and while that sucked, it gave the women the opportunity to put Uncle Sam to work for them. All the women were now in federal protective custody as witnesses. They would probably never be called in to testify, but they were going to get green cards and with some string pulling – all hail the power of the director of NCIS – they would get the change at permanent citizenship in a few years.

Tony doubted he would be closing his eyes to anything other than those hopeless faces for a long while. They were all worn down, exhausted from so many sleepless nights and long hours, and raw from dealing with bottom feeders disguised as decent human beings. So in Tony's mind, there wasn't a better moment for him to make his move.

Kate was at her desk, putting the finishing touches on her notes and official report. Dilligence, Ducky had called it, but Tony doubted it had anything to do with Kate being anal. She always did that at the end of a difficult case. Crossing the Ts and doting the Is. Tony understood that, that need to do just about anything to keep your mind from wondering into those dark shadows.

He slid over to her, waiting patiently – he played with her the pens and pencils – for her to acknowledge his presence. She did with an annoyed glance, "I'm busy, Tony."

She also had dark circles under her eyes and was so pale she could pass for a ghost. "And you look like hell." He gave her a flirty smile and watched as a vein bulked out in her forehead.

"What do you want, DiNozzo?" Her hand crept toward a letter opener and Tony decided that keeping certain pieces of his anatomy intact far outweighed any entertainment value he was getting.

He shrugged carelessly, keeping a façade of disinterest and just adding the tiniest hint of concern to it. He hadn't excelled in undercover ops just for his pretty face. "I was going to get some tea and was wondering if you wanted me to get you some coffee." He said casually. Then went in for the kill when he saw her surprise turn into suspicion. "You look like you could use it."

Kate's suspicion meter went from defcon four to one in the blink of an eye. She tensed, her eyes narrowing, "Okay, I know you haven't gotten hit on the head lately and I'm not sleep deprived enough to be hallucinating. So what are you really up to, Tony?"

"Oh come on, Kate, have you seen yourself in the mirror? With those bags and that hair, I consider getting you caffeine a public service."

Subconsciously Kate started combing her fingers through her hair, and once she realized what she was doing, let her hand drop with a glare in his direction. That only made Tony grin wider. Which in turn made the throbbing vein on her forehead that more visible.

"Fine!" She bit out, "But I swear, you put anything else in my drink –"

"Other than cream and two sweet&lows?"

"– and I'll make your life hell." Tony grinned, Kate sighed and before she could change her mind, he was out the door and at Gibbs's regular coffee shop. One order of Gibbs's regular, flirting with the pretty cashier and a phone number later, Tony was back at the office. He only stopped for a minute to chit chat Henry, the regular security guard of their building, who gave a pointed yet amused look at the cup in his hands.

"Thought you didn't drink coffee." Henry said as he handed Tony his side arm, bag, keys and other metallic knickknacks that would had trigger the metal detectors.

"Not for me." He waggled his eyebrows and in a conspiratorial voice, "it's for a Kate, a Gibbs special."

That caught the man's attention, "You really have death wish. Agent Todd doesn't strike me as the forgiving type."

Tony shrugged. His own incident with the beverage had spread through the grape pipe like a wildfire. By the time Tony had been able to get back to work, there wasn't anyone in the whole building that hadn't heard. Gibbs's coffee became legendary and people avoided it like the plague. After that, people tended to try and stay on Abby's good side.

"If she makes it, I can always outrun her." He said in parting, heading toward the elevators. As the doors closed he could still heard Henry's hearty chuckles resonating in the open area.

As it turned out Kate didn't hallucinate talking furniture or did a fine imitation of a chipmunk on crack. In fact, Tony didn't even realize she had been affected until day two she showed at his doorstep kneed his in the groin, and bitched about not having been able to sleep for 48 hours.

The sacrifice of future generations of DiNozzo's had been well worth it, not being able to walk straight for a week hadn't. In the end Kate stayed up for four days total and Tony gave wide berth to the ball crushing knee of hers.


	3. Chapter 3

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

If asked, Tony really couldn't have said how he felt about the newest addition to their team. Their first meeting hadn't stood out that much to him other than nothing that the agent was greener than broccoli and would be a mess in the field. He was also gullible and quick to follow orders and Tony took relentless advantage of the last two. When McGee had started working officially with the team, Tony had expected him to be one more of the growing number of rotating agents that had come before.

Timothy McGee was very different from any of his predecessors. An atypical geek: pudgy, clumsy, though smart, smarter than him, though Tony would rather set his baby – 1966 Ford Mustang – on fire before admitting it, but not necessarily in a useful way for the field. Over all, nothing like any of the NCIS agents he'd met and worked with.

Still, McGee proved himself, and if on occasions Tony felt the need to remind the probie why he was _the_ probie and Tony the senior field agent, it wasn't as personal as McGee thought it was. That was until he started showing off on Tony with Gibbs, and when Gibbs said his name first when calling on them, well, Tony felt more than a little justified and knocking him a few pegs.

His plan had been a simple one – and with McGee still seeing Tony as a friend and not a potential enemy – an easy one. If he maybe, just a tiny bit felt some guilt about what he was about to do, it was dispelled when Gibbs gave the probie an assignment usually reserved for Tony.

Tony was an only child and had no qualms about defending his place. Though he had never felt threatened enough by any of the previous agents to act – there was always something about them that alerted Tony of their impending transfer from the team – McGee didn't seem like he was going anywhere any time soon; which meant that, like Kate, he was here to stay and that left Tony in an unusual situation.

That McGee had been a good addition to the Team, Tony couldn't deny that, but the probie was getting to upidy and it was Tony's duty as senior field agent to initiate McGee in the ways of team Gibbs.

Wednesday had been the ideal day. No cases where pending and they were all mostly catching up on the backlog of paperwork. It wasn't his favorite activity, but a necessary evil in the bureaucratic world they all lived in. He had left late the previous night/morning and was coming in earlier than even Gibbs's non-case time. Tired but his reasons behind getting up at dawn helped keep the sleepiness at bay.

When he made his way to the elevators after a quick hello to Henry, he was surprised to find Kate already inside and waiting impatiently for the doors to close. She looked haggard some, but a fresh coat of make-up covered most of it. "Long night?"

"Shut up, Tony." Well that was cutting to the quick.

He smirked as he spotted the cup of steaming coffee in her hand. The color wasn't from the local coffee shop, but then again, he doubted Kate would ever drink anything with that logo ever again. Tony still flinched whenever Gibbs came in with his daily drink.

"Is that coffee?" She said with clear accusation, clutching tightly at her own cup.

"Why yes it is, Kate, how very observant of you." He scooted back as Kate invaded his personal space, a completely instinctual reaction after the last time when she'll all but crushed generations of DiNozzos.

"If you even think of switching my drink for that –" The twitching of her knee made for a very nice emphasizing.

"Hey, would I do that?" The knee shifted and Tony was quick to add, "And it's not for you, it's for the probie."

He half expected her to grab the cup and splash it on Tony, never mind the second degree burns it might cause, so he taken aback when she smirked at him instead. "Another initiation ritual?"

Wary he unwound from his defensive position, "just thought I'd welcome the probie into our team."

Kate snorted, "You mean poison him. You better hope he doesn't drop dead or Gibbs will put your balls in a jar."

"It'll be worth it."

"You don't like Tim very much to do?" She asked, all teasing gone from her voice.

Tony shrugged, "I don't dislike him."

"You mean Gibbs's likes him better than you. So like the incredibly mature human being you are, you decide to take it out on McGee."

Stung, but not wanting to show it, Tony kept his tone casual, "What makes you think Gibbs's like him more?"

Smugly, Kate took another sip of her drink, "Oh come on, Tony. It's not like Gibbs treats him any different from the rest of us."

Tony opened his mouth to retort, but then the door sprang apart and whatever joiner he planned went out the window when he saw McGee happily tapping on his computer, nose stuck on the screen. "Geek." He muttered just loud enough for Kate to hear.

Kate just shook her head and rolled her eyes with an exasperated, "Jock" before clamping down on her desk.

"Cheerleader" He threw back as he passed her on his way over to the geek. Like she had room to talk.

He purposely rounded behind McGee, clapping hard enough on the shoulder to have him slam on screen. Oops. "Hey, McGeek!" He said cheerfully, keeping a steady hand on the coffee in case McGee jerked back and spilled all over. Not likely, since McGee had the reflexes of a slug and he was proven right, when he just rubbed his nose that had begun to pink.

Tony really was going to have to work with him on that before those nonexistent reflexes before them both shot. It was probably just as well that Gibbs was partnering the green bean since the man was practically indestructible.

"Tony." McGee greeted back, albeit with less enthusiasm and his voice muffled by the hands on his nose.

"I see you're burning the midnight oil." He added with a small edge, which didn't go as unnoticed by McGee as he'd expected. McGee, with remarkably good survival instincts gave him cautious look. Well, looked like he was finally learning, though for the purpose of this exercise it just wouldn't do.

"I just had some interfaces I wanted to check. It should allow us faster access to the various federal and local law enforcement databases." That went right over his head and out the stratosphere somewhere.

Tony kept his smile from tightening into something much less friendly. "Well, that's good." He said without the growler that wanted to plant itself in there. He placed the cup on the desk, and nearly smacked the hand that automatically moved it away from his precious circuits. Right. If it wouldn't put a damper on his plan, Tony might've smacked McGee over the head for treating the sacred broth with such disrespect.

"What is it?" McGee, stater of all things obvious.

"It's coffee, McGee." This time Tony couldn't help the sarcasm that crept into his voice. Then in a much nicer tone he said, "I just thought that since you're going to be with us for a while, we might as well welcome you into the team."

With due reverence, Tony motioned to the cup on McGee's desk. "It's one of Gibbs's special brew." Well, maybe not Gibbs's, but since he was the only one that could stomach it, it unofficially belonged to him.

Whatever reluctance McGee might have harbored flew out the window at Mac 5. His whole face lit up as though he had just found out they were remaking the original Star Trek. "Jeez, thanks, Tony, this is really nice of you."

Tony shared a look and a smirk with Kate, who stopped pretending to do paperwork and was now fully intent on McGee as he took a long pull of the coffee. Tony waited for him to start choking, to turn green, something, but when McGee merely put the cup down and continued doing whatever geeky thing he had been.

Disappointed, and more than a little frustrated, Tony went back to his desk. Kate raised an eyebrow, clearly impressed and that didn't put Tony in any better mood. Gibbs came in. They worked and got a new case and through it all, McGee didn't so much as sneeze. It annoyed Tony, and if he was a little nastier toward a confused probie, he felt McGee deserved it. It was childish, a part of him could admit that much.

Gibbs smacked him over the head twice and told him to knock it off and Kate shifted between mildly sympathetic and wholly annoyed. But it wasn't until after lunch that Tony loosened up enough to leave the probie alone. It also might have something to do with McGee's usually lightning speed speech going supernova. His usual nonsensical words blurred together until even Abby couldn't decipher them.

The crowning moment came when Tony walked into the head, to find a very green McGee bent over a toilet, puking three days worth of food. With Gibbs walking in behind Tony, taken one look at McGee then Tony and smacked McGee over the head with an exasperated, "Will you ever learn, McGee."


	4. Chapter 4

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

Kate's death had left a huge, gaping hole in their lives, in their team. It left them staggering to adjust, regroup and find a way to function with as a three men unit. And every day after, every time Tony entered the office with a quip at the tip of his tongue, he tried not the let the grief choke him when he spotted that empty chair and desk.

McGee became a ball of uncertainty when dealing with either him or Gibbs. And Gibbs was nice and gentle and called them by their first names and all the things Gibbs was not. He wasn't driven to find the bastard, _Ari_. He wasn't anything even remotely recognizable. Kate might have been the one with the bullet to the forehead, but it was Gibbs that became the ghost.

Tony held it together, focused on leads and calling in every favor owed to him while at the same time pushing McGee to do his thing and Gibbs to wake up and Abby to keep going and all the while he wanted nothing more than to set out and find the murdering son-of-a-bitch and just _end_ him.

It didn't stop there. Morrow retired and in came a hot new director with past with Gibbs and a chip on her shoulder. Then the bastard's sister showed up and Tony couldn't hate her because he understood all about having unsavory family ties.

Everything happened so fast afterwards that Tony's head still spun even months afterwards. Ari shot up Abby's lab, Ducky was kidnapped then returned without a hair out of place and then Ari was dead, supposedly by Ziva and rogue Mossad's little sister became Kate's replacement.

Gibbs hadn't put up much of a fight and that had spelled all sorts of wrong with Tony. Still he was friendly, charming and everything expected of him to her. He didn't welcome her with open arms, she was Mossad and even if she was technically on their side, Tony knew too much of split loyalties to trust anything about her. When he came to the office, he smiled and quipped even as inside he couldn't help but look for the pencils in her penholder. Or cringe whenever he made a reference and was met with confused dark eyes instead of exasperated. Ziva wasn't Kate the same way Kate hadn't been Viv, but strangely he felt he understood her more.

It was different, it was change and Tony hated change. Every time Gibbs came in with his cyanine in a cup, he could feel McGee's stare boring into him. Two weeks of that and Tony had snapped an impatient "What?" Which had McGee looking pointedly at the cup then at Ziva and Tony had never wanted to _hurt_ anyone more.

Months passed, they all created a new equilibrium and McGee stopped pushing about initiating Ziva. It helped that unlike McGee and Kate, Abby hadn't warmed up to Ziva in the least. They formed a united front against McGee's attempts to keep a tradition going that, while it had been started with Abby and Tony, had become part of team Gibbs.

The problem was that it wasn't just McGee that was waiting for what he thought was inevitable, but Ducky had started asking about it, in his own roundabout way. Gibbs hadn't verbalized anything, but the increasing tension in his shoulders was enough of a hint that something was going to give, and soon.

It did, or rather, Tony did. It wasn't planned, it wasn't even well thought out, but the morning after Ziva had made him dinner, _after_ she had already invited everyone and their mother over to cook for them, Tony walked by Gibbs's regular coffee shop and just froze at the window.

Before he knew what he was doing, Tony was already inside and ordering a Gibbs's special. Cup in hand, he took his usual route, got a peculiar smile from Henry, a cross between somberly sympathetic and tentatively hopeful. At the elevator, Tony stared at the number for nearly five minutes before his shaking finger was able to push for his floor.

He wasn't jubilant, or angry. There wasn't a smirk of his face or the cool feeling before pulling something over someone. Tony didn't consider calling Abby to let her in on the show – even though he knew how much she would enjoy it. This wasn't a prank, or a way to get even. It felt sacred, sacrosanct, like not being able to raise your voice over a whisper at a church. Or watching the red sox win the World Series for the first time in over eighty years.

McGee wasn't at his desk, neither was Gibbs. Ziva was at hers, but instead of working, she was leaned back on her chair listening to music. She wasn't anything like Kate. With that thought in mind, he walked over to Kate's, now _her_ desk, and placed the cup down almost reverently.

Ziva straightened almost before the cup had touched the wooden surface, popping out both ear plug and turning off her ipod. She didn't eye the cup like a rabbit a snake, or look at Tony suspiciously, or became uncertain and wary. She took the cup, smelled it and took a tentative sip. When that didn't kill her, she started drinking it with a weird intensity Tony didn't understand right away.

Fifteen minutes later she was sprawled over the desk, looking like she'd drank twenty sailors under the table. And Tony stood over her, not so much as staring, but his feet keeping him rooted in place.

Then he felt another presence to his left, then another to his right, turning, he saw McGee and Gibbs taking in the sight of the most composed woman they probably had ever known with a hangover. The following burp just added to the peculiar sight.

Neither said anything, McGee just went over to his computer and got to work and Gibbs drained the leftover coffee from Ziva's cup before going over to do paperwork. There wasn't much to do, even when Tony would throw puzzled glances at Ziva and she would groan and shift away from any light.

The next day she was back to her prestige self; hair immaculate and clothing that hugged nicely her curves. Tony couldn't even enjoy the view when she leaned down to pick something up. It was bothering him, it had been bothering him since Ziva had carelessly drank the offered coffee without question or hesitation.

When McGee went down to the lad and Gibbs to autopsy, he leaned forward and asked what had been plaguing him since yesterday, "Is it common practice thing for spies to drink anything given to them? Because if it is, it's no wonder no one ever hears about a retired one."

Ziva didn't even glance up the file she was reading, "I cannot speak for any other agency, but for Mossad it is not _common practice, _as you say, to eat or drink just anything offered. And most certainty just by anyone."

Not the answer Tony wanted, but it was the expected one. "Okay, then why did you drink the coffee I gave you yesterday? It's not like you know me that well. I could just as easily poisoned you."

"But you did not."

"I could've have. So why don't you just answer the question."

With a sigh, Ziva dropped the file and looked Tony straight in the eye. "Because it seemed important, okay. You were pale, and your hands shook. Normally I would have thought this a sigh of some ill intentions, but I have ears as well. I have heard McGee speaking to you about some sort of 'initiation'." Well, he was definitely going to have a talk with McGee about his discretionary skills. "But every time you would mention Kate's name and flatly refuse. I know how hard it is to lose a comrade, especially one that was so close to you, so I said nothing."

He was going to kill McGee and have Abby get rid of all the forensic evidence.

"That coffee, was your initiation, no?" Tony shrugged rather helplessly, there wasn't a point denying it. "So now that I drank that vile _stuff_ you're going to stop staring at me as though I killed your baby."

"Killed my puppy."

"Whatever. Now if you're done disturbing me, I have much to catch up on."

She returned to her reading and to ignoring Tony's staring. And Tony stopped pretending to do his and staring going through the piles of forms he had been suckered into doing. And when Tony looked across from him, dark eyes met his in question and an unknown weight lifted from Tony's chest.


	5. Chapter 5

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

Tony was gaping, like a fish and he probably looked just as idiotic but he couldn't help it. It was something out of a Stephen King novel of an episode of the Twilight Zone. He'd rubbed his eyes not once, but three times and still the image persisted.

"Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" McGee had sidled over to him and was joining in his fish out of water impression. Normally, Tony would have made some quip about McGee stating the obvious but really, he had an excuse for the brain fart moment. It wasn't every day they saw two bitter rivals, such as Fornell and Gibbs laughing, _together_, as in not at each other. Well, they were chuckling, he doubted either one knew how to really laugh; something to do with being bastards and in charge.

"Either we're dreaming or we're dead and this is hell." Except little Timmy was there, the probie was as harmless as a kitten, and he was cold.

"Maybe there was something in the water." A biological attack wasn't out of the question considering were they worked. All federal buildings were considered prime targets for terrorist cells.

"No, even they wouldn't be this sinister." Except that Gibbs was relaxed and smiling and all of that in the presence of nose-in-the-air Fornell. There was something so wrong with the universe.

"Maybe there's something wrong with them?" Tony glanced at the probie, then back at Gibbs and Fornell.

"You know, Probie, you might actually be on to something." And that alone proved that he _was _in hell.

Tony hadn't liked Fornell when they'd first met, Tony hadn't liked the man after dealing with him on and off for the past five years, and Tony was certain the feeling was more than mutual. First meeting, Tony had stolen the body they had in evidence by literally playing dead. All subsequent meetings had followed the same thread: the FBI trying to pull a case from under them, Fornell accusing him of murder, Fornell being accused and cleared by them, Fornell once again accusing him of murder; was anyone seeing a pattern here?

Fornell was the FBI's version of Gibbs, except the man had the sense of humor of a cadaver and just as sunny a disposition. Putting both Gibbs and Fornell in a room was like putting an open canister of kerosene and a live grenade inside an oven.

Every time they had been forced to work together, World War III ignited and everyone in the vicinity ducked for cover. And that was only last week. Now they were all chummy and if Tony didn't know better, he would be over at Gibbs's house searching for a pod with the real Gibbs.

More chuckling ensued and Tony tightened his hand over his keys, a peek wouldn't hurt, would it, just to be sure?

"I wonder what they're talking about." McGee glanced around the room but Tony had no idea what he was searching for. Maybe the people in the white suits coming to take Gibbs and Fornell away?

"Probably something boring that involves lots of guns and explosions." There was no way that Gibbs and Fornell had suddenly become buddy buddy with each other, but Tony couldn't figure out when and where things might have gone from instant dislike and pissing contests to this . . . this obscenity.

"Maybe it's the coffee."

Tony blinked, "What?"

"The coffee, Gibbs brought in two cups earlier, which was strange since he only drinks one at a time, but maybe it's some kind of side affect."

Tony stared at McGee. Then he spun his head around so fast his vertebra nearly went out of alignment. _It couldn't be, _but even as he thought the words the evidence before him was unmistakable. "That's –" Impossible, improbably, _insane_ but there it was. He was seeing it with his own two eyes; Fornell and Gibbs, drinking coffee and not just any coffee, but Gibbs's special brew if the corporate logo was anything to go by.

The stuff that Abby and her fancy equipment hadn't been able to declassify as anything other than severely toxic. The drink that had nearly landed him in Bethesda, that had kept an exhausted Kate up for two days, that had McGee puking his guts for hours and knocked super spy Ziva out for the count. All that and Fornell was drinking it like it wasn't strychnine and cyanide all rolled into one deadly package.

"What? Tony? What is it?" McGee's uncertain voice knocked him out of his stupor. But when he looked at McGee, there was nothing close to the astonishing revelation that Tony had just experienced. Of course McGee hadn't known about Tony's own encounter with the deadly beverage. Abby may be part scary and part insane, but Tony was the master at blackmail. She wouldn't mention it to anyone unless she wanted Tony revealing certain facts she wanted kept secret. That, and Tony made it a point to bring back little gifts every time he left the country.

If McGee was that clueless about what was happening right under his nose, then Tony wasn't about to enlighten him. Beside his stung pride that Fornell, of all people, would one up him this might work to Tony's advantage. Easy money if he could manage to get Fornell to drink the stuff in front of the others. That, and the months of mocking he could get out of it.

With that in mind, Tony placed a friendly arm around McGee's neck, giving him a grin that would make a shark proud. He felt McGee tense up which only made Tony's grin widen. It now resembled something out of a National Geographic issue. "You know what I'm in the mood for, probie?" He steered McGee toward the elevators.

"What?" McGee kept eyeing Tony then the metallic doors like a baby calf in front of starving lions.

Tony relished the look and pushed McGee through the doors before he knew what was happening. Sometimes McGee really did make things too easy. Just as the doors closed, Tony made sure to bellow in his most cheerful tone. "A large cup of a Gibbs's special."

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O*

**A/N:** Collapses, yay, another fic done, now I can rest in peace. Okay guys, please let me know what you think, what you liked, what you didn't like, be honest it helps me sleep at night! I'm a review addict, give me my fix!! :-P


End file.
